Entry: As I hang by the bridge Thursday, July 08, 2004

I've tried to sit still but my feet would languidly sway under the cold water. the ripples were good to look at. they've become my refuge. my consolation over this self-inflicted solace. but the coldness never got through my bone, it evaporated slowly like the rain splashing on my face.

i stared at the water trying not to notice my own reflection. my own redundancy. instead i tried searching for the bottom of the green water not exatcly knowing what exactly i was searching for. i dig and search and eventually find nothing.

the abyss scares me sometimes. even though i keep on telling myself, there's nothing to be scared of, my heart says otherwise. the smell of fear is too obvious this time.


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